I have mixed feelings about Nobody’s Business – mostly bad. Promising to be a satirical, comedic look at sticky EU regulations, entrepreneurship and ideas, Nobody’s Business deflates to reveal Sylvia Freedman’s worn-out script, misshapen with bad jokes and stereotypes.

Hugo (Tristan Beint) is moving into a rented office and is not pleased. Around him is chaos: the cleaner who never cleans, Sybil (Katy Manning), is wafting around screeching about soup fountains, buttons and how she is not a cleaner but a concierge; shy landlord Howard (Stephen Oswald) hassles Hugo for the rent; Hugo’s artistic girlfriend Imogen (Claire Jeater) refuses to bow down to his every wish; and a demented, strangely-dressed assortment of inventors (all played by Jeremy Drakes) visit the office in hope of funding their ridiculous ideas. Inventor Neville – with his motorised, collapsible shopping trolley – is Hugo’s only hope. But scamming Neville out of his money might not be so easy when the rest of the characters want the gentle inventor to succeed.

Perhaps Nobody’s Business thinks its mad energy will scream loudly enough to distract the audience from its lack of substance or wit: characters often shout, quite painfully in a very intimate venue. They stomp over a set strewn with so many rustling cardboard boxes that one audience member becomes momentarily buried. But the few funny lines and physical comedy moments don’t redeem the rest of the two-hour running time. Overused, groan-worthy one-liners are met with a tense silence and the occasional chuckle forced from pity. In comedy, the audience’s feelings are audible (or, tellingly, not), and the cast and creatives of Nobody’s Business can probably successfully bet on their play’s failure even before the reviews trickle out.

After yet another joke-fallen-flat, I ask ‘what is the point of this play?’ Well, it’s not the plot. Nothing particularly clever is said about such relevant topics as the EU and business development; the largely empty dialogue could be made to fit any other topic or, in fact, none at all. Many relationships make no sense: why are Hugo and Imogen – two opposing personalities with no visible attraction or lust towards one another – together? Why is Sybil still allowed to hang around the complex by Howard when she apparently does nothing but annoy? Even when the audience are meant to be moved, such as when Sybil talks about all her ideas of escaping an unsatisfying life, I find I don’t care enough.

However, the talented cast thoroughly deserve their round of applause: at times, they manage to resuscitate a dead script with skill. Manning and Beint particularly shine with comic timing, even when playing tired, two-dimensional characters. But, despite the best efforts of the cast, Nobody’s Business has barely any freshness or flair. It collapses into an already-done war between form-filling arrogance (Hugo) and untidy, enthusiastic creativity (Sybil), and it’s not hard to guess who wins.

Nobody’s Business plays at the King’s Head Theatre until 24 October. For more information and tickets, see the King’s Head Theatre website. Photo by Chris Tribble.