This week I’ve been mostly grumpy and have taken to huffing and puffing the day away. A word of warning: If you’re in need of a little pick-me-up, look away now.

Grump #1

Despite having planned otherwise, I am unable to go to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival (cue empathetic grumpiness) so, quite naturally, I have been feeling a little more than sorry for myself. The Traverse escapes me still and I’m having to live vicariously through reviews read in snatched moments of illicit internet surfing, behind the back of my boss, that only serve to remind me of how much I’m missing (although I will take this opportunity to say that both Lolly and Lois are doing a fantastic job at keeping AYT in the loop). To make matters worse, an acquaintance of mine has made front page news with their work at the Fringe, which has made me acutely aware of my own comparative underachievement. I suppose that I should unwillingly admit to being the tiniest little bit jealous but I won’t – so shoot me. Note to self: next year book flights and time off work well in advance.

Grump #2

By process of elimination, I think you can work it out: The Government; Department of Culture, Media and Sport; The Arts Council England. Cuts, cuts, cuts and more cuts to come. Why is it the arts always rank last? Surely sacrifices can be made elsewhere? I’m not talking slashing the NHS budget for the sake of subsidising theatre but, for example, how much is it costing to host the Olympic Games 2012?! Why aren’t we investing in talent that is already here instead of bulldozing perfectly good land to erect numerous stadiums for the sake of one event? The whole thing smacks of a national desire to show off to the rest of the world how we can do it so much better than them. I realise the comparison between sport and art may appear a non-sequitur but I always find it strange that the people I spend most of my time defending the arts to have no qualms when it comes to funding competitive sport.

Grump #3

My stupid self. A week after extolling the virtue of work, I am no closer to having undertaken any. The thing that makes me grumpier? I have only myself to blame. Forever with my head in a book, I think I’m always waiting for a piece to drop into my lap, fully-formed and ready to stage. I know full well it doesn’t work like that. Like a child with a security blanket, I am reluctant to let my research go as that will mean I am truly on my own. In opposition to one of my all time theatre hero’s, Ann Bogart, I am not making theatre ‘now’ with the resources available to me. I am waiting for more money, more time, more space and more ideas. Don’t ever do this or you’ll get stuck in a rut and as grumpy as me.

Here’s hoping that next week I’ll be back with a sunnier disposition and a readiness to conquer the world.

Image by Helen Dittrich.