Nope, not the soundtrack to the latest celebrity sex tape – my weekend, dear readers. I sit here watching syrup drip from a jar, observing its movements. Lest you think me unnaturally preoccupied with sticky substances, I hasten to add that this is part of my training. Because one of the characters I play may move in this way, syrup-like, and I should recognise this.
So. Yes. A happier couple of weeks, it would seem. Easter is almost upon me and I find myself itching for change and the chance to break out of school and rebel, Alice Cooper-style by, erm, spending my days reading and catching up with my grandparents.
What has brought about this change of attitude? When last we spoke, I was wallowing in Dawson’s Creek-esque misery and angst. Well, a change in perspective – plus some small success. Whilst the scene on which I am working continues to perplex, my other classes seem to be going better and I feel that I’m making some headway and actually *gasp* achieving. From dance to storytelling via expressive movement, this kid can, on occasion, make it work.
I’ve come to a realisation that is proving enormously helpful.
I have a duty to my own artistic integrity and I need to be happy with what I do and, if others are not, that’s just… unfortunate.
This is not, I assure you, a ‘cop out’ nor a way in which to absolve myself of responsibility for performing poorly, but rather an acceptance that The Arts (TM) are so subjective that nothing I ever do will be ‘right’ for everyone – I need to realise when it’s right for me and trust it.
Therein lies contentment (until I get a third).
Speaking of opinions, I’d like to provide, if I may, a quick guide to how best to read this collection of the ramblings of an inebriated pushing-thirty-something (my blog). I fear I may come across a certain way, partly due to my writing style, and I wish to clarify a few things.
Here’s five handy hints for appreciating my musings:
- I will be endlessly sarcastic and any post I write is to be read whilst assuming my tongue is firmly in my cheek.
- I will be honest at all times with regard to how I feel – if I ridicule your favourite practitioner, I apologise, but I have an obligation to speak my truth.
- I do not consider myself amazingly talented (talented, yes, otherwise why would I be putting myself through this?) and anything that implies so should be taken with a pinch of salt.
- I will mock aspects of the profession that I find ridiculous – this is my right as a working actor and, indeed, surely one of the reasons people choose to read this blog.
- I will not be a martyr to things I find confusing, reprehensible or just plain foolish – I’m old enough and ugly enough to speak my mind.
These are my ‘terms and conditions’, so to speak, and, whilst I mean no offence and would hate to incite disapproval, I will rigidly stick to them. To do anything less would be to lie to you, dear readers.
Until next time…
Image: Lyle’s Golden Syrup